i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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