dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize