My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm at about main and main street
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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