After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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