A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
