it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize