What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
