Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
