This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
