I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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