so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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