if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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