I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
