his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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