I think I just saw someone hide a body.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
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So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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