I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We left an ass print on the piano.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
