Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
