"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
