Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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