best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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