every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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