Pappa wants mamma naked
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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