Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
