I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
