Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
