I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
