Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
