It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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