dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
