Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
