Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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