He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
