Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
