my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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