non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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