I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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