He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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