some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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