he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
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Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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