Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
that's an acceptable place to lick
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
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he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
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I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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