my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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