Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
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