Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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