I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
