Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
