she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
