I love black thongs
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
do herpes really smell.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
