I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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