Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
