I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
