1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize