bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
