So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
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the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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