Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
