i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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