Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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