I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
