Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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