My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
