HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
