It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sarcasm needs its own font
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
