so that wasnt chicken after all
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
