Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
