I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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