I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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