We won't sleep together?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize