Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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